Six Months Later

Six months have passed and not much has changed. The world is turning, the Sky is still blue, and i am still me. That last one can go eather way. I really dont know where i am going in ife. I am stuck. I have been Stuck for a long time now. I dont know if i can find a way out, or if i want to find a way out. Still have not really done things on my check list lets go over them again.
[x]CNA Licence
[ ]Moved Out
[ ]Got a new car
[x}Got my own phone plan
[ ]Be in a realitionship
[ ]Let the past go

Is two out of six good? I dont know either. I need to figure things out. But it takes to much energy!

Pitty Party of One, Your Table Is ready

I kinda made a fool of myself. I met this guy at my friends house and my friend gave me his number and I know she was going to try to set me up with him. It was really odvious. She kept telling me to text him. So I texed him but I did not really want to because I knew that it was going to be like how it always was. He told her that he thought that I was cool but not intrested in me like that.

Idk why I did it. I really did not want to because I knew that he was not into me. I knew it but yet I just texed him. And now I feel like a total idiot. And I hate seeing my friends with their boyfriends. I really do because it just reminds me that I dont have a boyfriend. That I never have had one. And most likly will never have one.

WHHHAAAATTT!

So on Saturday I am going to see my favorite band ever! I know I say that a lot but this time it is really them. I wish I bought the meet and great tickets. But at least I am going to see them preform their early music.

P.S I also know it is for not that album.

"We Still Love Tom Petty Songs"

I need to feel wanted,
I need to feel like there is a point to this,
I need to feel like i am make it work,
I need to stop being such a music Nazi,
I need to feel the rain on my face,
I need to feel needed.

I want to take charge,
I want to make in impact on the world,
I want to get married,
I want to be a better mother then mine was,
I want to get over my past
I want to much

I can overcome this,
I can be a bigger person then this,
I can change your mind,
I can be independent
I can stop biting my nails,
i can write the next New York Times Best Selling Book.

The Idea of Life After Death

Doing what I do for work I see death a hell of a lot. But some of the deaths are a little easeier then the others. But then there is that one death that just takes you off gard and makes life feel like it has just punched you in the middle of the back. To explain the punch in the middle of the back... when someone punches you from behind it startles you and makes you want to pay more attention. When I go in to work tomorrow I am going to see a lady who I loved and cared for slowly leaving this life. Just laying in her bed not really there. But I will still call her name hopeing to get one last smile from her.

Im a Leaf on the Wind. Watch How I Soar!

So new year new look! today was kind of an awesome day. all the things taht i ordered last week all came in today. It was only 3 things but it is funny that they all came in today. tomorrow i get paid and i am going to get a new phone, so that is going to be more things that i am going to get. Well what I got today was my fossil handbag. My 2 books from B&N, and my Tegan and Sarah cd.

Anyways. I have been hanging out with all my friends again. It has been a good time.I have not seen all my friends in a long time. I think I am finally out of my moorning. I still miss my grandma still everyday but I am comming to terms that she is gone and that I should not be letting my life just pass by. But it was good seeing all my frieds. I have missed them.

So me and KP are going to try to write a post at least 1 a week. I really hope that I can keep this up.